Dating with lupus can feel overwhelming, especially when dealing with symptoms that impact self-confidence and social interactions. In this Real Lupus Story, one of our community members shares her journey of finding love after a difficult breakup and a lupus diagnosis. Her story is a reminder that love, support, and understanding can flourish, even when faced with chronic illness.
Here, in her own words, is Chelsea’s experience dating with lupus:
Happily ever after
After going through a bad breakup and soon after being diagnosed with lupus I was not interested in dating, especially having an extremely swollen face from the prednisone.
I gave myself a good year of being alone, working on myself and focusing on my health.
I then had a date planned, I was nervous and wasn’t sure whether to tell him on the first date or not. He said we must go on a hike. “Oh dear,” I thought. But off I went, hat, sunblock, sunglasses etc. Luckily, we had a short stroll and picnic instead.
After Diagnosis, face swollen from Cortisone
I decided not to mention my lupus on the first date but I did on the second. Of course, at first he had no idea what it was but after googling and finding out more about it he did a little.
I explained that everyone gets lupus differently and explained my symptoms etc. It has taken him a long while to understand, and to this day still doesn’t fully understand. But I think it’s always better to be open and honest from the start so that your partner will understand your disease and help you get through it.
Dating with lupus can present unique challenges, but it doesn’t mean meaningful relationships are out of reach. The unpredictable nature of the disease, along with symptoms like fatigue, pain, and the side effects of medications like prednisone, can sometimes affect self-esteem and social interactions. However, open communication with potential partners is key.
Sharing your diagnosis early allows them to understand your needs and how they can best support you, while also ensuring that expectations are clear.
It’s important to prioritize self-care, set boundaries, and be honest about your limitations, especially during flare-ups. The right partner will appreciate you for who you are beyond your illness and will offer support when needed.
Ultimately, dating with lupus is about finding someone who values your strength and resilience while respecting your health needs.
Engaged in beautiful Bali!
Living with lupus is not the end, like many of us think. I was able to find someone who understood the disease (some of the time) and has learned to live with it with me. Fast forward 5 years and we’re engaged to be married in 6 short weeks. I never let lupus stop me!
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Would you like to share your own lupus story? Your experience could inspire and offer hope to others facing similar challenges. Reach out to us and become part of our Real Lupus Journeys series—your story matters, and together, we can empower one another. Contact Una at hellocpt@andreasgift.co.za for more info.